[GUEST] WHO CARES ABOUT THE NEXT “STAR WARS”?

I read on the 11th that the subtitle of this year’s final (yeah, right) “Star Wars” could be coming today. Perhaps a mini-trailer, too. I forget exactly what I quickly saw yesterday, but there’s to be something expected.

Anyway, who cares about the next “Star Wars”?
A lot, apparently. Not I. It’s just a movie.

I was never a big fan. I betcha many people see these things
because everyone else does, not from actually wanting to.

Loyalty? “I’m loyal to the ‘Star Wars’ franchise.” Wow, I know that I’d be
just embarrassed to even say that. It makes me chuckle. Is that an accomplishment that matters in the universe (beside the space-opera
“universe” of SW)?


Some think that this year’s addition will have a negativity within the title.
Just for sh**s and giggles, howzabout we try some subtitle predictions?

negative (any of these could get fans to think the series will never return):

“A Finality Of Hope”
“War To End All Wars”
“Han SoloNG” - - he died in SW7, but maybe his ghost will appear next
“End Of the Hope”
“The Final Death Star (Wars)”

positive

“Tomorrow, the Turnaround”
“A Gloaming Within Darkness”
“Rey Of Light” - - some character in “Force Awakens” was Rey
“Knights From the Dark” - - unoriginal, overused type of thing

neutral

“C-3POe: The New Yoda” - - there was a Poe Dameron n’
did that guy die in SW8? whatever, I don’t know since I didn’t
see it, but perhaps he could come back as an interesting C-3PO

“Kylo Ren: The Hoek Is In” - - “Ren And Stimpy”‘s asthma hound
chihuahua teams up with Kylo to make the story even more confusing
than it is (or alternately: “The Franchise Is Hoeked” - - not definitely a
take on it being f
*ked, but perhaps just indicating that it is Ren-infused)

“JabbaFett: Union Of Uncertainty” - - changing direction towards
comedy even more than above, Boba Fett and Jabba the Hutt get
together romantically and wackiness ensues

“PoeDa” - - combination of PD and Yoda, a freakish character
that is causing troubles throughout the galaxy while also spouting
a bunch of sayings that people think are from one full of wisdom
(but they are actually misleading and full of something else)

and the one we really must have:

“Audacity Of the F**king Scorpion” (w/the
“Angry Video Game Nerd” as himself)


3:14pm.

Looking over “YouTube” in a video from the last hour, I
see that it was revealed to be: “The Rise Of Skywalker”.

Lame.
'Rise’ is also a common and boring word in movie subtitles.


3:18pm. I see that a teaser trailer is out.


3:25pm. Mr. Horse (of ‘Ren & Stimpy’) says: “No sir, I didn’t like it.”


I haven’t gone to a theater in at least 20 years. From what I know,
seeing something in the theater is just going to be crazy-expensive
and not worth it. Also, I know I hated the wide screen. By the time
you move your peepers to one side, you can miss something on
the other edge. Isn’t that annoying?

I think it would be silly to be in the room with the fangirls/boys who
would be loving a film more than it deserves. I bet there would
be cheering and so forth. Can people fancy themselves up before
entering the theaters and look like they are in Halloween costumes?
That gets me thinking that maybe I actually will check it out for a laugh.


Okay, I have nothing to connect anything with psychiatry, but there you
go anyway. Perhaps there’s some bunk about the psychology of SW
out there and why adults love these kid flicks with too much fervor?

BACKUP: How could I miss this? You can simply consider PoeDa as an opposite and evil “mental health” promoter that is causing divisions
across the galaxy. (LOL)

ADDITION 8/17/2019: Gee, I just read that another trilogy is going to be in the works and it’s not supposed to feature any of the usual characters. Whatever, I’m already not interested.

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Copyright © 2019 Dee Essem/MIND MADE UP

 
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